Chakra

You know, all the things that happened to us in this universe are connected to each other. Day by day, I believe it.
I met some people. Ive gone this far, Ive met some helpful people. Something that I never really thought before. And it came in the way I never expected before.
It's good. Yeah, its good. You lose some, you get some. And im so grateful about it. Im still learning. To see. To understand. To cooperate with this universe. Something that probably, in the future, Ill call it 'destiny'.
Who knows?
But universe is indeed amazing. You probably dont believe in God, but if you are also dont believe in the power of Universe...then I dont know what you are anymore.
So yeah. There's nothing such so far so good. Like what my friend (that I just met a week ago!) said : "your body will heal, your mind will heal. What done is done; what will happen, will happen. Forgive yourself."

Forgive yourself, is a powerful thing. At first I think, when a relationship's off, forgetting is the hardest part. But apparently, forgiving those, especially yourself, is way harder. If you meet someone attract you that much, forgetting is not a big deal. But then deep down you keep recall what have you done wrong in your past, what you shouldve done, what you shouldnt have done. Those kind of things are poison. And some people, keep that poison within themselves. So im still learning.

Few days ago, I met this guy. A puerto rican guy. The way I met him is just so unexpected, the universe conspired. He is, a natural healer. He taught about balance, and so on. The third time I met him, he suggest--well, he insist me to do some healing. I have no idea before, and ofcourse I rejected it. I dont like being scanned, or touched especially by a stranger. But then he said, "you carry a lot of your past in your body, and it affects your mental , do you know that?Dont be so stubborn." 

And by that, I fully surrender myself. One thing for sure, no explaination but I trust this guy. So yeah. The rest is history.
And again, universe conspired. In an amazing way make us realize that we're just tiny tiny little human.
I'm glad having a chance for this kind of things. 

Im still learning tho.
Im still learning.

****
After the process, my friend told me about human's aura and chakra. And I got mine. The one that is bigger and stronger than the others,

well, thats a simple research i found after he told me.
I dont believe in many things. But surely I do believe in nature and universe conspiracy. So now, I finally understand that everything in this universe is connected to each other. Sometimes, it comes up in a form of what we called coincidence.  

So yeah :)

Im still learning.

Im still learning.

Im still learning.

-junk

Dream

I was dreaming...
I was dreaming about us...
The realest dream, after all those dreams about you at the past...... I was dreaming we say good bye to each other..... The realest good bye, since we never really said any..... I was saying good bye.... And you said it too..... You were smiling, and I was too..... I almost forgot how you really look like, but you just seem so real.... We were looking at each other before separated by the lift door--the lift that I was in....that is weird...but now I got the message.
You were the one who said that we will not meet again.....And yeah, I guess it's really my time to realize that....So that was....One emotional dream I ever got....But then I got the message....Even my dream wanted us to have good bye....
At least we were smiling at that dream...so we really have to smile faithfully in the reality.....Because it seems like universe is no longer blessing us.....For those who said its only a dream, well, I really appreaciate this kind of dream........so bumbumbumdrumdrumdrum, its been a very long time....This is kinda relieving, knowing the difference between I have to, and I want to.....
So ya.....My time is up...I wish all the best this world can give to you.....Even if it means you will be the whole new person that I wont ever recognize......I dont mind being a little piece of the past......because it felt good...so good..... guess that now I really have to pay attention to what and who is right in front of me...

"saya ingin kabur, sebentar saja. boleh tidak? saya tidak ingin dicari atau mencari. saya tidak ingin memprioritaskan apapun untuk sebentar saja. saya ingin orang-orang mendadak lupa akan saya dan berhenti menyeret-nyeret saya dalam urusan mereka. saya ingin dunia menjadi kedap suara jadi saya tidak perlu mendengar teriakan-teriakan kasar yang tidak selayaknya saya dengar. saya tidak ingin merasakan apapun yang menyebabkan saya harus bertanggung jawab pada sesuatu yang bahkan tidak saya perbuat. saya ingin sistem pengatur emosi dalam sudut otak saya dimatikan sebentar, supaya saya tidak perlu merasakan apa-apa, bahkan rasa senang sekalipun, kerena toh, rasa senang hanyalah pengantar rasa-rasa mengerikan yang akan timbul setelahnya. saya tidak ingin terlalu memedulikan perasaan orang lain, jika setan dalam diri saya harus hidup lebih kuat lagi, maka biarkanlah saya menjadi jahat untuk mereka. saya ingin bisa menyentuh siapapun dengan sepuasnya, peduli setan dengan perasaan oranglain yang harus saya jaga. saya tidak ingin memahami oranglain dan alasan mengapa mereka harus dipahami. saya tidak ingin bersusah payah membantu orang lain yang bahkan ingat kepada bantuan sayapun tidak. saya ingin merasa bahwa diri saya lebih penting daripada oranglain yang saya pentingkan. saya tidak ingin merasa bersalah pada sesuatu yang menurut mereka harus saya lakukan untuk mereka. saya ingin disebut 'brengsek' karena memang begitu adanya, dan bukannya karena apa yang saya tampakkan untuk mereka. jadi bagaimana, boleh tidak?"

kepada "tuhan"ku yang berkuasa dalam segala jagad maya, jika ia memang ada.